It makes you proud to be British

Education and research in Britain may be under threat but it is heartening to see that our research can still cut it with the world’s best

It is with absolute pride that I can report that Britain has proved its supremacy in scientific research after landing no less than FOUR awards at the annual Ig Nobel awards ceremony at Harvard University.

Researchers from across the UK were honoured for achievements that included proof that swearing relieves pain, a means of collecting whale snot with a remote-controlled helicopter and the first documented case of fellatio in fruit bats.

The ceremony, hosted by the Harvard-based journal Annals of Improbable Research, took place last night with the much-coveted prizes handed out by real Nobel laureates. Recipients were allowed a maximum of 60 seconds to deliver their acceptance speech, a time limit enforced by an eight-year-old girl
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Commenting on the strong showing of UK scientists this year, Marc Abrahams, the master of ceremonies, told the Guardian: “The nation may agonise over its place in the world, but in this one thing at least, Britannia rules.”

Please be upstanding for the playing of Barwick Green, the TRUE National Anthem as we celebrate these Ig Nobel triumphs